Most of you have your own opinion regarding leather clad bikers, their big chrome machines and the gorgeous babes that go along with the whole (Bullsh*tt) Hollywood scenario. You might think that the bikers you see on Friday nights outside the Hard Rock Cafe are some alien breed, sent down to this planet with their reckless lifestyle and outrageous dressing are with a mission to disrupt your peaceful human environment. But peel away the leather space suits and laser off the tattoos and you might be surprised at what you find.

Those guys and babes in leather on their noisy machines are more like you than you might imagine. But by a single twist of fate, influence  and a healthy bank account they magically transform into road raging demons of the night. And you could too. Be the real thing or a wannabe if you dare! But before you go out to the nearest bike shop and get outfitted like something from a Terminator movie, read on and find out the truth regarding 10 well-known myths about the biker world that we live in and see if you can stomach it first!

Myth No.1

The average biker really looks like Arnold Schwarzengger in Terminator. Handsome, tanned with beefy muscles and tough.

Reality Check

Underneath that helmet and all that leather is probably a balding (or greying) middle-to-old man with a paunch that has been cleverly covered by his leather vest with many metal badges to divert your attention from his wrinkles. (And by the way, that tan is probably from golfing.)

Myth No.2

Bikers get all the nice babes.

Reality Check

This one is a real laugh! Most women prefer to look (and only look) at the gleaming chrome machines than get on one and here are some of their so-called valid excuses.

1)   I'm wearing a skirt
2)   My Hair!
3)   This could be dangerous; even if we don't crash I might have to end up with this slob!
4)   My parents will kill me!
5)   It's sooooh hot and my fake eyelashes might blow off.
6)   My Hair! (Again)

Myth No.3

Women bikers must be lesbians.

Reality Check

Dykes on bikes? Not in Malaysia. Truth is, we have some of the most attractive lady bikers in this part of the world compared to the rest of the biker planet! (There is still hope for straight people.)

Myth No.4

Bikers love heavy metal music.

Reality Check

Do we look tone deaf? Just why everyone assumes this, I really don't know. At almost every bar that we go to, the deejay will announce "welcome bikers" and then proceed to play some heavy metal rubbish that only a rock kutu would appreciate. In fact, we sometimes leave the bar because of the noise. The truth is bikers are normal people when it comes to music. Their taste can range from classical to the Ministry of Sound. In fact there's a certain group I know that frequent rave parties. I've even seen someone with a Kent Clubbers' membership card! .......OK, I have a Kent Clubbers' card as well.

Myth No.5

The young lady on the back of his bike is really his daughter!

Reality Check

Yeah right! Bikers would be the last ones to allow their daughters on the back of a bike. Think about that.

Myth No.6

Bikers are a tough bunch, willing to camp in the wilderness and be at one with Mother Nature in the scorching sun and freezing rain.

Reality Check

Five star hotels, expensive rain suits and waiting under bridges during thunderstorms. We spend a lot of money custom making out leather gear. We don't wanna ruin it just to play tough.

By the way, there's a biker motto in the States that goes something like this; "Ride to live, live to ride." Well, in Malaysia we say; "Ride to eat, eat to ride."

Myth No.7

Bikers love their bikes more than their women.

Reality Check

Absolutely. Some myths are based on reality. (I can see myself getting into trouble for this one!)

Myth No.8

Most bikers are playboys.

Reality Check

Ha, Ha, Ha....(Sorry) couldn't help it. The truth is bikers are no different than that lewd male accountant in your office who undresses women with his innocent bespectacled look. It's just a male kind of thing. The fact is that bikes get more noticed in public places than the average Joe Blow. Some accountant types are the worst buaya in town, it's just that they blend in with the furniture whereas bikers stand out and our lewd behaviour is more prone to public scrutiny.

Myth No.9

Bikers must be able to play  pool very well.

Reality Check

Well, we can't help looking good in leather gear holding a cue stick in a smoky environment by the pool table, it is a posers' game as well. About 80% of bikers I know are in fact lousy pool players. 

Myth No.10

Bikers are a dirty smelly bunch.

Reality Check

You would too, if you had to brave 1000kilometres in a day on a motorcycle on dusty roads to get to a certain bar before sunset! Nah I'm just kidding. Your average Malaysian biker is probably top of his job in some multinational company (probably CEO or MD) has clean Versace underwear and is as well groomed as they come. Except my friend Cameron.

So there you go, the 10 most misleading myths and facts about bikers. By the way, the above only applies to Malaysia. So if you're in Hell's Kitchen New Your City don't go up to a biker and ask him what his day job is.

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